3 months in
It's now been just over 3 months since we bid goodbye to our friends and family in Seattle and headed to the airport, wearing French flag tattoos to celebrate that day's win of the world cup (no one at SeaTac had any idea of why we were wearing them, except for a Somali and Italian guy, both who congratulated us on the win). That leaves us with 8 months to go.
It feels like its gone quickly, but when we think back to Switzerland in July or London in September, it feels like ages ago. We are past the first whirlwind of emotions, the excitement and nervousness of 'finally doing it', the initial homesickness, and the wondering what exactly this 'thing' is that we're doing, and how we're supposed to do it.
Before we left, Adam and I sat down and wrote out Why We Are Doing This Trip. A list of what we want out of this. Here it is:
We Are Doing This Trip So That We Can:
- Have a significant experience together as a family
- Spend un-distracted time with our kids (and ourselves)
- Expose our kids to different ways of being in the world
And in doing so, we want to make sure we:
- stay safe and healthy
- keep our kids' schooling up so that they can continue with their cohort when we return.
Our modern, Seattle-world is so filled with expectations of outcomes, of successes (or failures), of effectiveness and productiveness - we are constantly evaluating ourselves and the use of our time and resources. And despite being far away, it is very, very hard not to assign those same values to our trip. Are we spending this time in the right way? Are we getting the right experience out of this? How do we know what the right experience is? What if we realize part way, or at the end of our trip, that we did the whole thing wrong?
WHAT IF THIS TRIP IS A FAILURE??
I know, I know. You're saying 'it can't possibly be a failure - its such an amazing experience you're giving your kids, they'll be changed by it forever, etc etc.' And you are right. But we all know how hard it is to apply sage advice yourself, especially when it involves a major disruption in your life. We don't want to mess up!
And the other thing: failure, it turns out, is not an option. Which means there can be no measure of success or failure. We wanted to do this trip, and we are doing it. Success!
So when doubt sets in, I try to turn back to our 3 main goals. And if what we are doing, at that time, does those things, then we are doing what we set out to do.
(And I'm adding a 4th goal: to not evaluate ourselves all the time).
It feels like its gone quickly, but when we think back to Switzerland in July or London in September, it feels like ages ago. We are past the first whirlwind of emotions, the excitement and nervousness of 'finally doing it', the initial homesickness, and the wondering what exactly this 'thing' is that we're doing, and how we're supposed to do it.
Before we left, Adam and I sat down and wrote out Why We Are Doing This Trip. A list of what we want out of this. Here it is:
We Are Doing This Trip So That We Can:
- Have a significant experience together as a family
- Spend un-distracted time with our kids (and ourselves)
- Expose our kids to different ways of being in the world
And in doing so, we want to make sure we:
- stay safe and healthy
- keep our kids' schooling up so that they can continue with their cohort when we return.
Our modern, Seattle-world is so filled with expectations of outcomes, of successes (or failures), of effectiveness and productiveness - we are constantly evaluating ourselves and the use of our time and resources. And despite being far away, it is very, very hard not to assign those same values to our trip. Are we spending this time in the right way? Are we getting the right experience out of this? How do we know what the right experience is? What if we realize part way, or at the end of our trip, that we did the whole thing wrong?
WHAT IF THIS TRIP IS A FAILURE??
I know, I know. You're saying 'it can't possibly be a failure - its such an amazing experience you're giving your kids, they'll be changed by it forever, etc etc.' And you are right. But we all know how hard it is to apply sage advice yourself, especially when it involves a major disruption in your life. We don't want to mess up!
And the other thing: failure, it turns out, is not an option. Which means there can be no measure of success or failure. We wanted to do this trip, and we are doing it. Success!
So when doubt sets in, I try to turn back to our 3 main goals. And if what we are doing, at that time, does those things, then we are doing what we set out to do.
(And I'm adding a 4th goal: to not evaluate ourselves all the time).
Wisely thought and said.
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